I’ll ‘now start at the very beginning, a very good place to start’ which after a quick Google search I realised is from the Sound of Music. I’ve noticed that I reference a lot of TV/films and music in my everyday life. I was at the Lowry Museum on Tuesday this week and they had seats which were a bit like a table. I asked my parents what they reminded them of… and then I said it was like the Thomas Crown Affair in the art museum. Though I’m not the only one, there have been numerous articles about the quotes from the TV show ‘Friends’ which are now used in everyday conversation.
Anyway, a slight sidetrack there… I started 2017 excited at the thought of having a month off from mid-February as I was going to Singapore, Australia and New Zealand. There was talk of a work restructure, but I didn’t think much of it. During the process I thought I was fine and coping, albeit I knew that I was a bit stressed, but I didn’t actually realise how much it had impacted me until over 100 days of being off, where having had jet lag from a trip to New York I felt that the cloud finally evaporated and I was at a point of inflection.
I’d been merrily talking to various people during the restructure period, but actually you can’t escape or fast-forward through the change process. It’s a bit like jet lag really, you can’t avoid it, and you have to live through it.
I was listening to a few songs on repeat on my journey to and from the office. When Sigma released ‘Changing’ it really resonated with me (much like the film ‘Joy’ – see previous post ‘Joy and Sorrow, and lots of things in-between’) and became a go-to track in those first few days (or even weeks). The other song was Frozen’s ‘Let It Go’. I’m a massive Disney fan and have been lucky enough to see Idina Menzel performing it at Wembley Arena. I would blast these out and it somehow cleared my head fog.
My brother lent me a book by Po Bronson called ‘What Should I Do With My Life?’. It seemed like a good place to start my research and thinking. Po “heard nine hundred plus stories in his research, and unfortunately almost nobody was struck with an epiphany. He said that most people had a slim notion or a slight urge that they slowly nurtured into a faint hope. Most people felt guilty about wanting what they wanted”. This is exactly how I feel about writing. I’ve put off setting up this blog until now because I’ve been frightened of what I might say and what others might think of me. I also recognised that I was feeling more stressed than I realised and that the change (or transformation) that I was going through was bigger than I’d thought. I was a bit disappointed that an ‘epiphany’ wasn’t very likely though.
Po also said that “the things we really want to do are usually the ones that scare us the most”. What if I put pen to paper or typed words on a page and nothing comes of it? What then?
At school I wanted to be a primary school teacher, then a PE teacher. I was quite bossy at primary school and as the eldest in the year I organised games etc etc. I’ve had a natural affinity with kids my entire life – though generally get on with most people. My gym instructor said I had warmth and empathy which is what people respond to.
So, what next?
I’m currently investigating my options and trying to enjoy some time off – though that has proved harder than you might imagine as your mind is constantly busy.
I planned to keep exercising, seeing friends and balancing my job search with other ideas.
My other ideas included things I found interesting and liked spending time on:
- Kids book writing/TV programme creator
- ANOther to be discovered
The month away in the middle of the process turned out to be good timing as it opened my mind to the wider world outside of the company that I was in.