Nature or Nurture?
The Nature vs Nurture debate is something that has been discussed a lot over the years. In my last post, I noticed myself returning to old ways. Do you think you are a product of your genes or your environment?
Perfectionism – learned or earned?
I definitely identify myself as a Perfectionist and scrolling through the headings in the article I’m like ‘yep, yep, yep’. That’s me, you’ve totally nailed it.
I am a Virgo star sign, so a natural born worrier. However, I notice that I am harder on myself that I think I should be at times (this article says that perfectionists use the word ‘should‘ which I know from some coaching I’ve had that this is a trigger word for me to notice and to stop and think as ‘should‘ often means you don’t want to. It’s probably linked to an outer expectation, or you are comparing yourself to another).
I also notice that my parents, especially my Mum (also a Virgo), get stressed and worry and don’t sleep – so basically the same as me. Probably everyone is the same, but others are better at masking it. But is that the right thing, or should (sorry!) we be talking about our thoughts and feelings more?
Even today, a beautiful sunny Saturday, I have felt myself rushing to get things done. Where’s my deadline? Oh it’s me. I think that I try to get things done so that I can rest. However, I’m not then enjoying the moment.
I enjoy writing, but I could find myself rushing to try to get a post done rather than actually taking the time to enjoy that I can touch-type (and I do love typing, the noise, the feel of the keys – there’s just something about it that is soothing for me)… the birds are twittering outside. There are always plenty of things to take in and be grateful for.
I also think the ‘always on’ culture in life means that everyone is striving to achieve and accomplish something all the time, but we need to take time to stop and relax as well.
An email from CGMA gave a link to another article from Psychology today which said that perfectionists can overcome their tendencies – so that’s good news! Basically we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. I also think there’s something in mindfulness and just ‘being’ rather than always doing.
Nature around us
The other day a butterfly was fluttering around outside my front door. I’d just arrived home from work and got out of my car and the butterfly continued to flutter around a flower near the door. So I feel very fortunate to have got some photos of it.
Of course ButterfliesFlutter is my Twitter handle, but the butterfly even seemed to flutter around me the next day too. So go out for a walk, respond to the nature around you and enjoy today.