40th birthday … it wasn’t so bad …
As Audrey Hepburn once said (see my Twitter page): “Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same”.
That pretty much sums up turning 40. I went through a period of angst about it leading up to the event. Part of that was to do with having lots of people coming to my house for a party and hoping I’d got it all sorted and it would go off well etc. My friend was also stressing as I’d asked her to make a cake, though as you’ll see below what she did was absolutely superb. However, she thinks she needs to stress else it won’t be.
Of course some of my angst was to do with getting older as it felt like a big milestone birthday and I wasn’t sure I could cope with it. Sitting here today at the end of September, I actually feel quite content albeit a little rundown. But here’s why…
September started in a whir and continued throughout the month
1st September was the day of the party, so things were pretty mad leading up to that day. On the day itself, I spent a lot of time showing people into the house and acting as hostess. I didn’t really get much time to speak to people, but it was nice to see them all. After a while I went onto dancing and had fun. Everyone had a lovely time though, so that’s the main thing.
This is the cake that my friend made which is absolutely beautiful!
We had put a marquee up in the garden and my Mum had injured herself on the Thursday doing that, so she’s still got a mark on her arm to prove it. I felt guilty about that and my friend stressing over the cake.
The Wednesday was my actual 40th birthday and I went on a shopping trip to Marks and Spencer with some people. I thought this was bit odd, but went along with it since my parents had helped me so much with the party. On the way back we pulled into a restaurant that I’d always wanted to go to and I noticed my friend’s car. My parents had arranged for my two best friends to meet us all for lunch. I felt the tears welling up in my throat. I truly felt loved and grateful for my life that day. I realised I had lots of people around me who loved me.
On 7th September it was a friend’s birthday. She had come to the party and we grew up together. I sent her a birthday text before I went to work and then at lunchtime I realised that Facebook hadn’t triggered with her birthday. I then looked for her name and realised she’d ‘defriended’ me. This actually made me quite upset. She’d defriended myself and another friend, so clearly we’d done something to upset her. I don’t see her much these days, but her parents live around the corner and the family came to my party, so it’s a little odd. It actually bothered me much of that afternoon, overnight and into the Saturday, though then other events occurred that put it into perspective.
Iron Man, Tenby
On 8th September we travelled to Tenby to watch two friends compete in Iron Man. This was a last-minute decision because there was room in the house that the family had rented. We’d been a few years before and knew it was a heavy day for the supporters let alone for competitors. We didn’t know what we were going to have to deal with though. In Saundersfoot, the mother of the two competitors got knocked down by a van (she’s pretty much okay aside from bad bruising and infected scabs, but it could have been a whole different conclusion, so on reflection she’s lucky). That was a pretty harrowing experience.
Things were pretty busy at work in parallel to this time, I had to do a big task ahead of a meeting which occurred last Thursday. I was off that afternoon and the Friday because I went to see Kylie at the O2. I luckily went on both Thursday and Friday, and then struggled through Saturday and today feel pretty rundown. But what a birthday month!
Worrying ahead of time
Worry is something I do naturally. I can spend time dreading things especially when I feel overwhelmed and that there is too much going on. I am then expending energy and making myself more tired, but probably not sleeping as well so it becomes a vicious circle.
I wonder how other people cope or if they just get on with it and don’t fret.
I’ve recently started having a camomile tea because I had one in a cafe whilst in Tenby and it definitely had calming effects. So definitely recommend this.
Meanwhile it’s definitely time for a restful afternoon… I could be warding off a cold at the moment so fingers crossed.
You’re never too old to be young – Snow White.